Murphy’s Laws: Full disclosure in news site comment sections

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Murphy the rescue lab offers an on-going list of new laws – MURPHY’S LAWS – from the vault of animal common sense.

** You, the reader, can offer your amendments to Murphy’s Laws in the comment section of the post.

Federal Statute 1005: This statue relates to anyone posting under news stories with comments that show a complete disregard for facts – or who try to pass off as facts statements with no bearing in reality. These news sites will now feature software that will fact-check comments and where necessary change the screen names to “Don’tKnowWhatI’mTalkingAbout.”

 

Murphy’s Laws: Elected officials; puppy mill breeders

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Murphy the rescue lab offers an on-going list of new laws – MURPHY’S LAWS – from the vault of animal common sense.

** You, the reader, can offer your amendments to Murphy’s Laws in the comment section below.

Federal Statute 1003: Elected officials at the local, state or federal levels who vote against new regulations that will improve conditions in breeding operations or against new regulations that will lead to more puppy mills being shut down, will be required to work in any operation where dogs or other animals are being rescued from substandard operations.

The offending parties will be required to help remove the animals from their cages and bathe them, without the use any facial masks to protect them from the stinging odors, which the dogs in puppy mills suffer through every day of their lives.

Federal Statue 1004: Convicted puppy-mill breeders will, in addition to prison time, pay fines equal to the cost incurred to care for all of the dogs in their mill – over the course of their remaining lifetime. And the mill operator will be required to pay all of the costs incurred from the rescue operation and for 25 future inspections of other breeding facilities.

Murphy’s Laws: Gas prices and HOAs

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If rescue dogs could make the laws, things would be quite different. After all, where does it say only humans can be elected to Congress? I mean, are all of them there now really all that human – or humane for that matter?

So we bring in Murphy the rescue lab to offer an on-going list of new laws – MURPHY’S LAWS – from the vault of animal common sense. First up, are a couple of new laws – one animal-related and one not so much.

Federal Statute 1001: As of July 4, 2012 – It will be unlawful for any gas company to sell vehicle fuel with prices that include tenths of a cent. Prices at the pump must be displayed in whole numbers, without the 9/10ths included, so that oil companies will no longer be allowed to insult the intelligence of consumers in this way.

The date of July 4 was selected to correspond with our independence from the tired, old scam that was for too long an effort make the less-informed among us think they were playing a penny less.

Federal Statute 1002: As of – as fast as possible; now would be good – it will be unlawful for Homeowners Associations of any kind to enforce covenants that limit pets. Rescue organizations are having enough trouble finding homes for homeless pets, without little mini-governments banning adoptions.